Over the next year after the accident, I had lots of doctor visits, concussion clinic visits, and a neurology consult. The doctors and concussion clinic gave me some eye exercises to do to rewire my brain so I could walk in a straight line (yeah, that was an issue, too) and not get so motion sick walking around my house. Other than that, not much else helped. The neurologist actually told me I’d have to learn to live with the post-concussive symptoms. Then when I started to cry, he noted depression in my chart.
I should mention that during this time, my work was so supportive. I used up my sick leave and then annual leave, took an advance of more sick leave, and then just was straight LWOP (leave without pay). I was able to finally restart work about 8 months or so after the accident one day a week, and then eventually two days a week with breaks away from the computer for 10 minutes every hour. I wasn’t able to work more than this. My work finally said I would have to make a decision as I couldn’t continue only working two days a week in my full-time position.
I handed in my resignation soon after. My savings was gone. My leave time was gone. I cashed out my retirement account. It was a good chunk of change but wouldn’t last me more than a year.
Now two years have come and gone since the accident. It’s Spring 2026. My cashed-out retirement money is gone. I’m living on a credit card. I applied over a year ago for Social Security Disability. The case is nearing its final stages. I just completed a mental health exam that they recommended because I sounded depressed on the phone. Gee, ya think? Seriously, I’m not depressed day to day. I just think of it as situational depression because my situation sucks at times. Currently I can only drive about 10 miles in total once a week without triggering symptoms. I can’t go in stores without triggering my symptoms. I can’t drive far enough to be seen in my doctor’s office in person without symptoms. I can’t drive to see my kids. I’m living half a life. My doctor says I am grieving my old life.
Don’t get me wrong, though. I’ve always been a homebody. While I have physical limitations, I still love my life. It’s just a different life now. Instead of moving up the corporate (government) ladder, I’m focusing on resting my brain and exercising my brain. I’m getting back into knitting and art (drawing and watercolor mostly). I’m excited to get seeds planted and ready for the garden. I’m working on my exercises so I’m strong enough to get outside and work in the garden without risking falls.
Of course I still have limitations. I can’t watch action movies with a lot of movement (characters walking/running around or car chases or flashing lights). I still can’t go in stores or be around many people at once. I can’t play video games. I tried those a couple times but got nauseous within about 10 minutes. I can work on a computer but no more than an hour or so at a time. I have to schedule my days carefully. If I have a phone appointment like the mental health exam or talking to a friend, that will tax my brain to the point of needing a nap soon after. Pretty much I can do one thing at a time with a good amount of rest after. If I drive it’s only for a short distance and only once a week. More than that, and I’ll get sick. I need rest after this too.
I’m thankful every day for being independent. The local grocery store, transfer station (dump), post office, and drug store are all within 5 miles of my house. I don’t have to ask for help very often, but I will when it’s necessary. I still have enough money in the bank to get me through another few months, and hopefully my Social Security Disability case will be approved by then.
I’m getting stronger every day. Because of all the sitting and resting, my body has debilitated quite a bit. I was unsteady on my feet, and my legs were weak. Taking a shower was and still is difficult (and a bit scary if I’m honest) because I can randomly lose my balance or become weak.
Home physical therapy is working with me on strengthening my core and legs and also increasing my aerobic endurance. It’s slow going, but things are looking up. I’m hopeful to be strong enough to get outside in the next couple months to get my garden put together.
I have accepted my life as being mostly homebound. I’m baking bread, making most of my meals from scratch. I’m batch cooking so that I can have meals ready to go in the freezer for bad days when I’m too fatigued to cook.
The motion sickness is pretty much under control now. I have some liquid motion sickness glasses that help when I’m moving around the house, especially with loading the dishwasher or anything that involves turning quickly. I only have to take the nausea medication a couple times a week now.
No matter how I’m feeling, I try to nap once a day, even if it’s just lying down with a blackout sleep mask on and an audiobook playing. It helps.
At this point I’ve accepted and am happy with my life, even with all its idiosyncies. I hope for full recovery, but I’m not depending on it. Life is good, and I’m working on making it even better.
So now you’re all caught up, at least to March 2026. Come join me on my journey. Life is full of surprises, so let’s see where this all leads!